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Today, 15 October, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In this episode I move beyond what to say and focus on how to build support around a grieving family, and how to keep it going over time.

For grieving parents, I share practical questions to help you find the right support for yourself, ways to support each other as a couple when you grieve differently, and how to include and protect your other children. For grandparents, aunts and uncles, I introduce the Circles of Support model and its simple rule: comfort in, dump out.

For supporters, I walk through how support needs to change from the first days to the first weeks, months and years. And for friends, I share the story of firefighters and builders, so you can ask yourself honestly which one you are, or whether you are neither. I close with an invitation to join the International Wave of Light tonight at 7 pm.

"Support is not a single act. It is a relationship that continues."

Who this is for: Parents who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings. Friends, colleagues and professionals who want to support a grieving family not only in the first days, but for the long term.

In this episode

• Finding the right support for yourself after the death of your baby
• Supporting each other as a couple when you grieve differently
• Including and protecting siblings
• Circles of Support for grandparents and the wider family: comfort in, dump out
• How support needs to change: the first days, weeks, months and years
• Firefighters and builders: which kind of friend are you?
• The Wave of Light, 15 October at 7 pm

Chapters

• 00:00 Intro October 15 Wave of Light 
• 01:32 Welcome & Overview
• 02:42 Support Does Not Arrive by Itself
• 04:05 For Grieving Families: Support for Yourself
• 07:31 Spread Your Support
• 08:30 Support for Each Other as a Couple
• 10:50 Your Other Children
• 12:54 Speak Up
• 14:13 The Wider Family: Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles
• 18:24 Supporters: Support Over Time
• 21:08 Friends: Are You a Firefighter or a Builder?
• 25:17 Continuous Support
• 26:21 The Wave of LightCircles 

Mentioned in this episode

• Circles of Support (blog): nathaliehimmelrich.com/circles-of-support/
• Episode 106, When Loss Reshapes Our Circle
• Episode 205, PAIL Awareness Month: Dos and Don'ts
• Episode 201, Grief and Time
• Book: Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a Couple
• Book: Bridging the Grief Gap

Access free resources: nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub

If this episode helped you, please rate the podcast with five stars and leave a short review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It takes less than a minute and helps other grieving families find these conversations.

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Find Support Resources 

• 💜 For Grievers – Resources
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/
• 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/
• 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/
• 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid 
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub/