How To Deal With Grief and Trauma

166 The Many Faces of Trauma | The Wound in the Bond: Attachment & Relational Trauma

Nathalie Himmelrich Season 16 Episode 166

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Attachment and relational trauma can be hard to name because it often doesn’t come from one dramatic event—it forms through patterns over time: inconsistency, emotional absence, unpredictable caregiving, chronic criticism, or rupture without repair. In this episode, we explore attachment as nervous-system education through relationship, and why closeness can become a trigger for protection (anxiety, control, people-pleasing, withdrawal, shutdown). You’ll learn a simple polyvagal-informed lens for understanding relational responses, plus practical starting points for repair and regulation. We close with a short grounding practice designed to support boundaries while staying connected.

In this episode, you’ll learn

  • What attachment is (beyond “neediness”) and why it’s biological as well as psychological
  • How rupture and repair shape nervous-system safety
  • What relational trauma is and how it forms over time
  • Why closeness can trigger fight/flight or shutdown (polyvagal-informed, plain language)
  • Common relational patterns (non-diagnostic): fawning, withdrawal, over-apologising, control, fear of abandonment
  • What helps: naming states, repair language, predictability, and safe connection
  • A gentle grounding practice that supports boundaries and connection

Check the website for the free resources offered for both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.

What’s next: Developmental Trauma: A Brief Map (Building on Earlier Episodes)




 

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